How could I bear any of this without humor? Without unexpected moments of levity startling me back to the joy of life? Moments that I hold on to when the needle bites, the medicine burns, the nausea rolls, and eyes that are precious to me fill with tears I’ve caused, whether I meant to orContinue reading “Cancer Humor”
Tag Archives: pmbcl
Privilege, Ableism, and Cancer Etiquette
When I finally shared the news that I have cancer, I was touched by the outpouring of love and support from friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers. Their open, generous responses gave me strength. And I have so many heroes: my sister, who really is #1; my friends who write me lovely letters; Jane, whoContinue reading “Privilege, Ableism, and Cancer Etiquette”
Harbor
This is a poem I wrote before I knew I had cancer. I don’t have time anymore to wait for gatekeepers to decide if my poem/essay/manuscript is good enough. Cancer has taught me I never really had that time. Harbor Sometimes it’s not even a closet.It could be the shell of a giant, old tirehalf-sunkContinue reading “Harbor”
The Long, Long Road to an Imperfect Diagnosis
Total time between when the mediastinal mass was found and I received a “definitive” diagnosis: 130 days Procedures and scans to get there: 7 chest x-rays, 2 CTs, 2 full-body PET scans, 1 MRI, 1 FNA/bronchoscopy, 1 CT-guided core needle biopsy, 1 bronchoscopy/thoracotomy What I owe (not all procedures have been added to the billContinue reading “The Long, Long Road to an Imperfect Diagnosis”
"When did all this start?"
Medicine, I said, begins with storytelling. Patients tell stories to describe illness; doctors tell stories to understand it. – Siddhartha Mukherjee, The Emperor of all Maladies An impossible question, but each new doctor asks it. A question I’ve answered over and over again since they found the grapefruit-sized mass in my chest almost five monthsContinue reading “"When did all this start?"”
The Final Silence: Cancer Walks 